


Peer Pressure

by kaeda



Series: Frat Boys Universe [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Crack, Drunkenness, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-17
Updated: 2007-01-17
Packaged: 2017-10-04 23:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaeda/pseuds/kaeda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alcohol can sometimes create annoying friendships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peer Pressure

**Author's Note:**

> AU as of Turn Back the Pendulum, but hopefully still enjoyable!

"Today…we're _captains_!" Kisuke drunkenly proclaimed before drinking from his sake dish. They'd lost count ages ago, all except Jyuushirou, who drank sparingly and watched them with amusement, and Sousuke, who didn't drink at all and read in the corner.

"Captains!" Isshin repeated, sloshing sake all over Shunsui in his attempt to toast. "Cheers!"

"That's going to smell in the morning," Jyuushirou muttered, taking a napkin and starting to dab at the alcohol on Shunsui's hakama, but the other man grabbed the napkin out of his hand and threw it across the room.

"Forget it! Be drunk! Get merry!"

"That's not _right_," Kisuke declared. "I think it goes the other way around."

Sousuke looked at them all and smiled indulgently before returning to his book, but Isshin noticed and crawled over to him.

"Ai~zen," he said in a sing-song voice. "Why are you here? You _hate_ drunkards and we're _drunk_." Sousuke frowned at him.

"This is a party to celebrate our promotions. I was promoted as well," he told him. "Plus, I don't hate anyone. Hate is a useless emotion."

"Man, you are so weird," Kisuke drawled. "Useless emotion. Haven't you ever bothered to hate…I dunno, the people who make the bad academy food? Yama-jii?"

"Oh man, I have a story to tell!" Shunsui said excitedly, gesturing for them all to come closer. "I was walking past first division headquarters the other day and it was _completely empty_, and I was wondering why, so I went inside and Yama-jii was dancing around. Naked."

Sousuke snorted in disbelief and Jyuushirou seemed to agree with him.

"Shunsui, you've had enough," he said patiently, taking the sake dish from his hand and placing it back on the tray.

"No, he really was!" Shunsui insisted. "I was _scarred_."

"I don't want to think about Yama-jii naked," Isshin moaned. "It makes my head hurt."

"We need to make Aizen have a good time!" Kisuke declared, completely ignoring Shunsui's story. "It's a promotion party! You can't sit there and _read_ at a time like this!" He slung one warm arm around Sousuke's shoulders and leaned in. "First things first, we're all equals here, and from now on you're Sousuke."

"Aizen's a real sticker for politeness," Shunsui moaned. "He's gonna _punch_ you."

"I'm not brawling!" Isshin declared. "I have a date tomorrow!"

"Is she preeeeeetty?"

"OF COURSE!"

Sousuke's eyebrow was indeed twitching madly, but otherwise he was the picture of calm, giving no indication of his annoyance with the other men, especially Urahara Kisuke. "I'd really prefer it if you kept calling me Aizen," he said finally.

"SOU~SUKE," Shunsui crooned. "You have such a great name! Rolls right off the tongue. Jyuushirou's name is great too, don't you think, Jyuu-chan?" He proceeded to lay his head right in Jyuushirou's lap, much to the other man's embarrassment.

"You are not drunk enough to be here," Isshin told him seriously, and handed him a fresh sake dish. Jyuushirou took it with a smile and downed it quickly, and Isshin handed another sake dish to Kisuke.

Kisuke pressed it against Sousuke's lips.

"The night is young, Sousuke! Let's get drunk! Let's frolic!" he crowed. Sousuke backed his mouth away from the dish and had the grace to look flustered. "Don't be such a _nerd_."

"He's a good-looking nerd, that's for sure," Shunsui drunkenly muttered. "All the girls are always going on about 'Aizen-san's strong chin and kind eyes'."

"Maybe if you weren't constantly peeking under their skirts, they'd talk about you like that too," Jyuushirou said dryly.

"Would you be pissed if we called you four-eyes?" Isshin asked out of the blue, peering at Sousuke.

"No, he wouldn't, because he's our nakama!" Kisuke crowed, leaning precariously on him, arm still slung across his shoulders. "And I think he _likes_ being the sober one. Why would you like something like that?"

"You're about one minute from falling and landing in his lap," Jyuushirou pointed out, always the realist.

"Doesn't matter, I'm going to get him to DRINK!" The sake dish in Kisuke's hand wavered precariously, threatening to spill all over Sousuke's book, which was probably the only reason why he grabbed it from him in the first place, but Kisuke still laughed triumphantly. "Drink!"

"Drink!" Isshin yelled from behind him.

"No woman will ever notice you if you're so uptight all the time!" Shunsui chimed in.

Sousuke sighed, the sigh of a man long-suffering, closed his eyes, and drank. No sooner had he done so then Kisuke gave a loud cheer and toppled over, right into his lap.

Two hours later, Urahara Kisuke was still in his lap and Aizen Sousuke was very, very drunk. Shunsui and Jyuushirou had stumbled off an hour before, and Isshin was passed out on the floor, snoring softly. Sousuke had given up attempting to get Kisuke off of him after trying for twenty minutes without any success, and instead decided the second best option was to get completely trashed.

"You know," Kisuke said seriously, sounding coherent for the first time all night. Sousuke blinked wearily at him, pretending the room wasn't wobbling behind him. "I'm the only person you don't fool."

A distinct chill went through the room.

Somewhere distant, a very different Aizen Sousuke wondered what it would be like to destroy them all.


End file.
